The Guy

I know in my last post I left in short notice but it was late and I was tired. Writing when your are tired was complicated so I left it. Now that my thoughts are gathered here is what happened.

A few weeks after we met and I gave him my number, he called. At the time I was fresh out of a relationship and wasn't really ready to get into another one, but I liked this guy and started just to hang out with him. So we went on a few outings and had some fun. One thing that I realized was his drinking, since his whole family did it he thought it was the only way to have fun at parties and such. I know what you are thinking the pot calling the kettle black, but I was sobering up and didn't want to get into it again. I was finally getting happy with my life and where I was at. Just graduated with things to figure out and further my education. He promised that we didn't have to go through that and was a little better at drinking with me in toe. So everything got happy again and we had lots of fun together. I also realize now, that I made some choices during this relationship that weren't the greatest. I started skipping school and hanging out with him more and working a lot. I altogether quit going to school and just started working full time with the promotion I received. A year had passed and we were doing great except he quit school before I did and he then lost his job and wasn't working. Now to my surprise everything was well except now I was paying to go out (which I didn't mind) and his parents were paying for everything else of his! This annoyed me, I was paying for everything myself at this point in my life, my parents only gave me a house to say in. I was shocked of the special treatment he got. Anyway, I had saved a lot of money and told him my plan. There were 2 choices: 1. Break up and move to Atlanta, GA and go to school there, or 2. we move in together and take our relationship to the next level. Well that didn't go so well. He was not ready to leave the nest and I wasn't sure if I could do this moving thing on my own. So after a few weeks of debating I broke up with him.

The next night he was at my door step crying, that he will change and we could make this work if I gave him a second chance. Well like a dummy I believed him and took him back only to get pregnant a few months later. Now we were together for about a year and a half and being pregnant wasn't the easiest thing to get over. We decided to keep the baby but since we couldn't handle and disabilities I told him if any tests come positive we are putting it up for adoption. Not because we didn't want it but because we weren't ready to deal with a baby let alone one with special needs. Tests all came back prefect and my due date was August 3rd. At that point he stayed around for about 2 months, then disappeared. He couldn't handle my hormones and thought it would be better just to leave me alone. Well I cried every night wishing that everything would work it self out. I didn't want to be like my parents and have a broken family.

During this time my mom and her fiance were planning to get married July 4th. I was my mother's maid of honor so I had a lot of duties. I was working full time still, saving for this baby. My mom was getting married and I haven't heard from my "boyfriend" or if he got a job. I was way in over my head and stressed out!

To be continued...