So getting this blog started has been a chore, trying to figure out what I want it to look like isn't working.. if you have any suggestions please comment!
Now, lets start the information train.. Woooot wooooot...
Where I started in life isn't the best and to show you why that is i will start with my siblings. I was 6years old when my sister was born and she wasn't a healthy baby she had a diaphragmatic hernia which was her rib cage not closing properly and all her insides jumbled up. She was rushed to Children's Memorial and had many surgeries. She now has a lung and a half and an 8-10inch scar on the left side of her belly which she is self conscious about. Since all that happened i was the typical jealous child who got left behind and resented her birth... When she was 2months away from being 6years old by brother was born. Yes, now my parents had a prodigal son and we were both left behind. But i wanted a brother so I wasn't too upset about it. When he was 2-3years old our parents were always fighting and disruptive. One day near Thanksgiving my mother told me they were getting a divorce. Boom.. the big D wold that put children in a panic, i immediately started saying sorry for being mean to my sister, that I wouldn't complain and that I would be good. The water works started and was pleading that everything would be okay. But she refused and then it all started.
I was about 13 at the time and in 6th grade and started acting out. I got suspended for kicking a boy in the balls (in self defense!) and I wasn't even on school property! My father was absent, spending his days playing video games while we ran amuck in the house destroying everything and being kids. I always complained that we were hungry and he need to take care of us and he would either ignore me or get up and yell at me saying I was just like my mother and would slap me around a bit. I knew he was upset, but there were 3 kids here who needed to be taken care of aswell. So I did what anyother person would do and womaned up. I started making dinner, making sure we were all in bed, ready for school, getting to school on time (which never happened). The school would even call my house to see why we were late every single day, not that our phone actually worked. While he was ignoring us he also ignored the bills, laundry, and the household tasks. Who do you think picked up that slack?? I did.. I made sure our laundry was done and the house was descent and the bills... I didnt do but when the electricity turned off, he noticed because his computer wasnt working and when the hot water didnt work he finally paid that bill. We were a sad sight, but I tried to be the best big sister I could. I was in the end of 6th grade when I first smoked some weed and was hooked for about 5 years straight and I had my first taste of hard liquor in 7th grade and was hooked for 3 years. I would come home wasted, way past curfew and no one noticed. After about 3 and a half years I got tired of being the mother, I came home one day and my father started yelling at me for reasons I do not remember. He got up in my face, I was used to this he did it almost regularly, but this time it was different. He pushed me to the ground and punched me in my chest yelling at the top of his lungs then he got up and started kicking me in my stomach and calling me the horrible names. This was it for me, when he walked away I got up, wiped the years from my face and went to my room locked my door and started packing. My sister and brother came inside from playing and found me with my bags packed and was asking what happend. I told them I was so sorry that I couldnt do this anymore and left them there. I got on the bus with my backpack and pillow and broke down thinking why did he do this to me. He never layed a hand on my siblings only on me.
To this day I wonder and I havent been able to look at him the same. I have no relationship with him and I never will, nor will my son.
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