Loser

Yesterday was my first day of the new school semester and I couldn't wait to get started. I've been waiting all summer to start school so I can get a step closer to graduating and start working to get myself out of this house. All my happiness washed down the drain later on when I found out that my parent's were mad a me for getting a red light ticket. On top of that I got into a little accident the other week and according to them I haven't been contributing the way that they want me to. I feel like a plain loser all the time.

I can never make them happy. I have tried my hardest not to get into trouble. I barely ever get to spend time or let alone see my friends because I feel that they look down on me. I'm trapped in the life where everything I do is just screwed up and never gets any better. When I feel I am doing better and getting somewhere something knocks me down and I just cant keep bouncing back like nothing ever happened. Its hard to be this person no one wants in their life.

I've made plenty of mistakes when I was younger and I guess that is what led me to where I am now but should that really determine my future? Ive always worked hard at things I want. Look at my child. I wanted him and I'm doing my damn best to get him where he needs to be. Yes, he is 3years old and doesn't walk, talk or feed himself but I'm only one person! I feel the weight of the world on my shoulders and no one is willing to let up.

I'm sorry for this rant but I'm in a weird, not-myself mood today and I just feel like escaping. I wish there was someone out there that would read what I have to say and reach out...